WARNING: Rebecca D. shows flagrant disregard for the rules of punctuation... She uses ellipsis with wild abandon... Punctuation interventions have been done to no avail... If you are offended by such irreverence to the rules of grammar... The very glue that holds our society together... STOP READING NOW... Move on... There is a little button at the top that says "next blog"... You would be well advised to use it... You were warned...

A Hodgepodge Where I Ramble On & On...

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

It's time to put on our grass skirts and hula over to Joyce's weekly Hodgepodge...

This week I took the questions way too seriously and probably rambled on too long... Apparently I am in a long-winded mood, which is ironic since question #5 is about silence...

1. Aloha! On August 21, 1959 Hawaii officially became a US state. Have you ever been? Upon arrival would you prefer an orchid or a hibiscus to tuck behind your ear?

No, I've never been... Paul went with his parents as a child. He has fond memories but doesn't seem to have any strong desire to go back. Although I think it would be fun to visit there are a lot of place above Hawaii on my wish list. If I did find myself there, I'd choose the orchid...

2. Since we're talking tropical...what's your favorite food or beverage made with pineapple?
I make a really good sweet and sour chicken that isn't as sickly sweet as the ones served in restaurants... It is a hit around here, but my favorite pineapple dish was the "House Pad Thai" from a Thai restaurant that no longer exists... Sad...

3. Do you believe in soul mates? Explain.
Yes and No... Yes, because I do believe the Lord has someone for all of us... Sometimes more than one someone. I met a woman recently who will tell you both her first husband (who died unexpectedly) and her new husband are her soul mates... No, because love is a choice, not just a feeling. It is both, but not always in the same order... Some times you feel it first then choose to act on it, other times you choose to love and the feeling comes... This can change over time and some times hourly! You have to choose to love and be loving or it seems inevitable you will "fall out of love."

4. Share a memory about the house you grew up in.
Since we moved back to Maine to take care of my parents we are living in my childhood home... It is a very weird feeling to be living in the house I grew up in. I kinda hated it as a kid... Our house was (is) a small ranch style and it was always the smallest of all my friends and I always wanted an "upstairs"... I am the youngest of one brother and five step brothers and sisters... My parents we in "downsize" mode when we moved here when I was eight... Ironically, if it felt small when I was a kid/teen, imagine how small it feels now. That being said, I don't hate it any more... I see the potential and if we can get things organized once and for all I think I could even like it...

5. Are you comfortable with silence?Yes, but I wasn't always... In fact, being a talker, I'd say I tend to be a silence filler, but as I grow older I am getting better at being still. Paul and I went on a sunset cruse the other day and most of it was spent with him and I standing at the rail of the boat, silently taking it all in... It was an amazing time. That being said, my thoughts are NEVER silent... If I'm awake, and I am not talking, I am thinking... Paul says he can just "not think"... Kinda put his mind in neutral, and after asking around I have met several more guys who have that ability. My theory is that we women don't "multi task" per se, but we never switch our brains off so we catch more of what's going on around us. (That is why we can talk on the phone, cook dinner and listen to what the kids are up to all at the same time.)

6. You spot a giant spider on your bedroom wall...what's your next move? (all spiders are giant, right?) I do not like spiders at all... They totally freak me out. I think every one of them looks menacing. A spider on the bedroom wall... If it is truly huge, Paul will be taking care of it wether he wants to or not... If it is smallish I will deal with it. That being said, Paul likes spiders so he spares their lives... I always give him the option of relocating the offender before I whack it with whatever shoe is handiest. I've also been known to vacuum the creepy crawlers up if they are not in a good spot for "whacking"... Either way... I could NOT sleep in a room I knew a spider was in... No way!!

7. My idea of fun does NOT include ______________.

Crowds or gossip...

First of all, I do not enjoy being in crowds... If my family wants to go to a fair or something as a family I always try to figure out when it will be the least crowded. Paul is the same way, but for different reasons. He is an introvert, so he dislikes crowds for all the classic reasons... For me it is because I not only have a very sensitive sense of smell which makes crowds an unpleasant experience... Especially in the summertime, but the other reason is somewhat weirder... I am extremely sensitive to the emotions of the people around me. I don't know why it this is, but if I am not careful I start feeling what the people around me are feeling even if there is no reason for me to be feeling that way. This is particularly true in setting that are emotionally charged, in fact years ago I went to a funeral of someone I had never met, the husband of a co-worker of Paul's, and I was totally overwhelmed by the grief of the family. It washed over me and I had to leave before I started crying uncontrollably for the death of a stranger... It is disconcerting to be this way and be in crowds... With large numbers of people, all feeling different things I get quickly exhausted. I know I sound nuts right now... I don't talk about this often. In fact it has only been in the last few years that I really realized what was going on, and have become more careful about it. Don't get me wrong, this can be a gift too... I frequently can feel what those around me are feeling and can be genuinely empathetic to what they are feeling.

Secondly, gossip... I have felt it's spirit killing sting and watch it crush my daughters... Gossip kills... Even if you are not the one being gossiped about, what you are hearing when you listen to gossip will affect your opinion of the person being gossiped about. Even if you tell yourself it won't, believe me, it will. I would rather have someone physically hurt me than gossip about me... The pain of being the victim of gossip goes so much deeper. I am not innocent when it comes to gossip either, and it pains my heart to know I have listened to and participated in gossip. I remember telling myself that as long as I wasn't repeating gossip, I wasn't gossiping, but listening to gossip IS gossiping. Also, take it from me, if your "friend" is gossiping to you, it is only a matter of time before they are gossiping about you.

*Update* I had a bloggy friend email me and tell me she too hates gossip but often is unsure what is and isn't gossip... I too struggled with this for a long time, at time probably seeming insensitive, because I assumed any time a third person is being discussed who wasn't present, it was gossip. That can be true, but it also could just be your friend recounting a genuine experience that involved other people... We as women often "process" situations by sharing with our closest friends and getting their feedback... Gossip is different... If you are sharing a story that did not happen to you or involve you, it's gossip... If a sentence start with "You'll never believe what I heard", it's gossip... If the teller is getting a bit of a thrill telling it, it's gossip... If you are getting a bit of a thrill hearing it, it's gossip. If what you are hearing about someone else makes you uncomfortable, it's may be gossip. If what you are hearing is second, third or fourth hand it is most likely gossip. If it starts of with "don't tell anyone I told you this" or "You didn't hear this from me."... It's gossip... That being said, I really think the best way to know is the "thrill" feeling either the teller and/or the listener gets... Gossip is a sin, and we frequently get that rush you get when you know something is wrong... If a friend is recounting an experience we should feel empathetic, or whatever emotion is appropriate to the story... Gossip is tricky, it is hard to define, but if we are honest, we know it when we hear it.

8. Insert your own random thought here. As my house wide clean up continues (You can read about it HERE) I realize that most of the the clutter that is taking over our home is mostly due to busyness, complicated by laziness... Nobody seems "attached" to most of the stuff we are sorting, it just seems to pile up when we get busy and we just never get back to dealing it... Combining two households of stuff into one small house is bound to be problematic, but beyond that, we need to stay on top of messes. This needs to be a house wide commitment.  

Here are the first five bags and a box headed to the Goodwill...
Four more bags are in the trash...
I think we'll do a lot more then 40!

Lets take a good look at Allison's "Vanna" face!

Thanks for listening,


  1. It didn't feel too wordy to me but I like words. Good for you with following thru on your 40 bags in 40 days plan!

    I don't ever shut my brain down completely but I do excel at compartmentalizing : ). That helps!

  2. First, I LOVE your "warning" at the top of your page! So great! I am not a fan of crowds either - I love people but just not tons of them all at once - it's just to much for me...AND I would love to clean out my house like you are doing! Happy Wednesday!

  3. Since we move every couple of years, the whole "clean out" thing is something we've got down to a science... and yes, it does feel good! Enjoyed your thoughts on gossip too... excellent points. have a wonderful wednesday! (And I agree with Veronica - love your "warning" at the top of your page! you are too funny!)

  4. Stopping over from the Hodgepodge. I wish I would get in the 'clean out' mode. My bag count would be way up there. Good luck and have a great day!

  5. I am so with you about not liking crowds! I do the same thing when we're going somewhere... like to see the King Tut exhibit at the science center - let's go right after school starts!

    And gossip... Regarding what to say, I remember being taught to "THINK", Is it:

    And I'm filling bags, my friend :D

    Julie G

  6. I totally get what you mean regarding living in the house you grew up in...the Hubs and I purchased my parents home. Seemed finanially smart at the time. Ha.

    I aslo totally agree that "we know it when we hear it" and we know better to not repeat it.

  7. Wow! Thank you for being bold enough to tackle forty bags! You are totally inspiring me to really dig deep and I have two bags in my living room right now!
    ~ friend in MA

  8. I am a talker too and always had to fill something in when there was an uncomfortable silence. I now know that it was only uncomfortable for me, not always the case with others. I am much better now and really can enjoy silence. It hasn't stopped me from talking though. :-)

  9. Waving hello from the northern reaches of Maine. ;-)


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