I have had 3 huge cups of coffee and a coffee coolatta from DD today and it is now 1:59 AM and I am wide awake... Instead of using this time productively I have been blog hopping and watching reruns of "Storage Wars" for hours... What should I be doing, you ask... Oh, completing the lesson plan I promised Paul I would do for youth group later today!
Oh boy, I feel better already... Maybe I'll keep going....
I ate my daughter's leftovers from Applebee's for lunch and she thought she had left them at the restaurant... And I didn't correct her...
I know... Shameless... How about this one...
I haven't mopped the kitchen floor since Christmas... I have just been spot mopping and swiffering for months... Yuck, I know, but I feel no guilt... I'll do it before the wedding in June... I swear!
Ok... How about another...
Paul has been asking me to buy him the flavored "corn-nuts" for weeks, but I don't want to. They stink to high heaven and give him smelly burps... I hate them... So I keep pretending they are sold out, or I forgot, or I was short on cash... Whatever sounds plausible, and I have no guilt about my subterfuge... Shameless, I know!
Wow, I'm on a roll...
Here's another... I gave my daughter's cat some table scraps and they made him sick on my other daughter's backpack and I didn't speak up and let her deal with the mess I created!
I know, I'm a horrible person... I wish I felt worse!!
How about a doozie...
I have a huge secret I have been asked to keep by my daughter until she is ready for people to know... And I've told not one, not two, but three people! I tell her each time I spill it, and thankfully they are much more trustworthy then I am... I can keep bad news to myself, but good news makes me burst at the seams!
See, I do feel better! Can we still be friends?
Feel free to leave your little confessions in the comments... I won't tell... Or I might actually...
Thanks for listening,
PS. This post is intended to be a bit tongue-in-cheek... Although all the events in the post are true, and don't show me in the best light, there is no need to send me a long email about the seriousness of confession or take me to task for making light of it. All the people "harmed" above had the post read to them this morning and we all had a good laugh...
While I've got you here though, I do have one more... To the lady in front to me in the check-out of Wal-mart this morning: The unpleasant "aroma" that I indicated must be the man behind me, was me... Sorry...
You are such a brave woman to bear your faults the way you do. I admire that! Me, I usually take the easy way out by confessing to God and moving on. It's much harder for me to confess to others. :( Why? I guess I want others to think I am someone I'm not. Very bad!! I love you!!
ReplyDeleteBah HA HA! We may have been twins separated at birth! O.k., When I grocery shop, sometimes there's a three-for-one deal on candy bars. I buy three, eat one on the way home, then tell hubbie I got us each a treat for after dinner.
ReplyDeleteI used to buy Hagen Das treats and hide them under Great Value ice cream sandwiches. I used to hide the last coke can in an empty butter box (fits perfectly) until my secret was discovered. Now everyone frisks the butter box. If I die suddenly, my family will find candy in obscure hidey holes until the second coming. See a theme? I may have a problem!?
Finally, I SERIOUSLY underreport the number of times my sweet little dog soils the upstairs carpet. I may soon be qualified to run one of those businesses that cleans horrific crime scenes. Wow! You really are the ONLY one I've admitted that nugget to (pun intended.)
I am so glad I am not alone... I'll have to remember the butter box!!! You are a genius!
DeleteThat made me laugh.!
ReplyDeleteI am cracking up!
ReplyDeleteWait.
Swiffering isn't mopping? :0