WARNING: Rebecca D. shows flagrant disregard for the rules of punctuation... She uses ellipsis with wild abandon... Punctuation interventions have been done to no avail... If you are offended by such irreverence to the rules of grammar... The very glue that holds our society together... STOP READING NOW... Move on... There is a little button at the top that says "next blog"... You would be well advised to use it... You were warned...

Just Another Look at My Thrilling Life...

Friday, July 6, 2012

Remember last week, when we stole away for a couple days to my parents cabin camp on the little island off the coast? Well, It wasn't overly relaxing... You see what I didn't tell you is that we are having a really, really wet summer here in Maine... The three days we were gone was pretty much non-stop rain... It made for a restful time for the most part... As long as you didn't have to go out in it...

Here look, we took Cooper with us, doesn't he look rested and peaceful?
Well, he should be... He has a litter box!

You see the camp doesn't have plumbing... It had an outhouse. Not normally a big deal, I am a big girl and the restful nature of the camp normally far out weighs the "roughing it" aspects of the camp... Not so much this time... This time the path to the outhouse and the area around the outhouse was completely flooded! In fact the path was more of a creek then a path! I don't know about you, but fording a creek in the middle of the night to relieve yourself is not my idea of a relaxing time.

To make matters worse, the guys were less than sympathetic... Making comments about how we would have never survived 100 years ago, and implying that we are weak, whiny women... I think the very fact we willingly go some place with no plumbing implies that we are anything but weak women!

Plus, it wasn't just a little wet, it was muddy too... Like "suck the shoes off your feet" muddy... It was horrible and I told Paul that Allie and I were headed home and would be back to get him and Dakota in three days... Not that he would mind so much, but this hit him in both places where it hurts the most... First the wallet... Each round trip on the ferry is about $30 and this plan would require an extra trip, and probably more importantly, it would hit him in the stomach... As you can imagine, there are challenges to cooking with no running water, but I have kind of perfected our "island food" menu... Me leaving would mean he would be stuck on the island with his 18 year old future son-in-law and a bunch of "ingredients"... Suddenly he was willing to try to fix the problem. His solution was to put several planks across the newly formed creek (stepping stone style) and a piece of plywood across the area in front of the outhouse...

This seemed to work out ok... Until the next morning...

It had RAINED all night... Like poured rain... So the next morning when I awoke, I went into the living room to look out the french doors at "the path." Paul was drinking coffee on the sofa that looks out those doors and told me (actually LIED to me) that he'd been down there and the path was fine... The sun had made a rare appearance so I put on my ever fashionable hot pink crocs (don't judge... they are perfect "camp" shoes), grabbed the giant rainbow umbrella from beside the front door and headed down the path...

I did fine until I reached the part where he put the planks across the running water... They were firmly pressed in yesterday... After all the rain of the night before, not so much... How did I determine this you ask? Well the first step went fine... It was when I put all my weight on the second plank that all you know what broke loose... Both planks decided to slip in the mud, in opposite directions! It went so quick, but the re-telling from Paul who enjoyed the whole show from the comfort of the sofa says I spun around remarkably quick jamming my umbrella into the mud... I remember this part... I optimistically thought the worst was over... Then the traitorous umbrella started to slip!  Now I am doing a split while downhill skiing on two planks of wood in a creek of mud... I manage to throw away the umbrella and latch onto the (flimsy) branch of a passing cedar tree... Paul says at this point he wanted to help me, but was laughing so hard he couldn't stand up... (And I thought the umbrella was a traitor!) All I remember of this moment was that I was vowing not to fall into that mud... It seemed inevitable at that moment, but remember, we didn't have running water for me to clean up with! So, where was I? Oh yeah, on two planks of wood, skiing down a slope of mud clinging for my life on a tiny, pliable cedar twig... In my Christmas theme flannel pants (oh I left that out?) and hot pink crocs... What do I hear in this moment before the inevitable happened? Laughter... Howling laughter from my husband!!!! Seconds later the twig gave out, down I went and yes literally 3/4 of me was covered in mud... Paul did emerge to help at this point... But all was lost, so getting more dirty was no longer my main concern... Please remember that I was on my way to the outhouse... Yes, I still had to drag my pitiful self down to use the potty... Aggggghhh...

By the time I dragged my poor, muddy self back up the hill to where Paul was waiting, I was a sight... I was caked in mud, my pants were so heavy from mud and water I had to hold them up, mud was squishing out the little holes on the sides of my crocs with every step, and I was trying really, really hard not to cry. (After all, he had laughed at the whole thing... I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction...) I pronounced him a bully and squished stomped past him with as much dignity as I could muster...

He must have sensed I wasn't ready to laugh at this yet, so he did what all guys do... He tried to fix it... I told him to stop, unless he could produce a shower I didn't want to hear a word from him!
That was when he said something that (kind-of) redeemed him... He informed me that he read in a pamphlet while waiting for the ferry the day before that the community center health club sells day passes for $10 and they have a shower!

I would pay a lot of money for a picture of the face of that teenage girl as I walk into the health club door, in my Christmas pj's, covered in (now drying) mud from the literal top of my head to my now mostly brown crocs carrying a very muddy, rainbow umbrella in one hand and a reusable grocery store bag of clothing in the other to buy a day pass! (and yes, I took my umbrella into the shower with me, and opened it to clean it... I figured I was covered in the "bad luck" area for that one!)

Anyhow, by day three the rain and mud had gotten to all of us and by the time we headed to the ferry dock to leave we didn't even care that the sun finally made an appearance.
We were all exhausted... We ended up over paying for some cheese burgers and fries at a little snack stand there and camping out in the car to wait for the ferry...

 See what I mean?

Even Cooper was exhausted...
I think I need a vacation to unwind from my restful getaway!

 Thanks for listening,

PS. I do find this funny now, so go ahead and laugh at me, you know you want to!


  1. I love the way you tell stories I can just hear and see you as you tell it. Yep it was funny but I would have cried when it happened. At least only Paul was a witness to he show you put on. Lol

  2. Who was it that said, "Comedy is often merely tragedy, plus time"???

    I'm sympathizing and giggling at the same time!


  3. Glad to hear life is back to normal for you.

  4. I thought my Sunday couldn't get any better...then I read your story. Thank you for topping off my day with a laugh.

  5. I was laughing pretty hard! You are great at writing! you make the reader feel like they are actually there. :)


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