Why I'll Never Be A "Big-Time" Blogger...

Be prepared to be bored to death... This is going to be a too long, picture-less post... According to "the experts" those are the death of a blog... If that is true, my blog is practically suicidal!

What am I talking about you ask? Well a few weeks back I got an email that there was going to be some big time bloggers coming to my general area of Maine (if you count a little over an hour away close... In Maine we do!) for a little mini conference and for a relatively small fee they would evaluate your blog and meet with you personally. I checked out these "experts" blogs and although only one of them was remotely aimed at my kind of bloggy friends (aka. "My Audience") they all did in fact have rather impressive followings, so what did I have to lose?

I got to the picturesque Bowden College Campus early... I was so excited... The only bloggers I know are you guys and a small hand-full of  friends who blog... And I am going to be honest, of the bloggers I actually know in real life, I probably have the biggest readership. So I couldn't wait to rub elbows with these fellow bloggers and feel all kinds of professional... I found the lecture hall and nobody was there... By "nobody was there", I mean not even janitors... The lights in the hallway were still off... Ok, here is where I realize getting there 30 minutes early to get a good seat, and make a good first impression actually made me a bit of a bloggy loser... I didn't want to be that weird person that is standing in a dark hallway waiting for the speakers to even show up! I momentarily thought about just waiting in my car, before I remember that Paul had dropped me off and was off to Freeport... So I did the next thing I could think of and went in search of coffee... After all, this is a college campus, coffee can't be far... Right?

I did find coffee, but also ran smack into the entire panel I was there to see, also going for coffee... I recognized a couple of them from their blogs. What comes next kinda set the tone for the my day... One of the big time bloggers turned around and saw me in line behind her... I figured since she had evaluated my blog, the look on her face was one of reconition... I felt so official, until she asked if I got my scarf at Target? Yes, it's not me she recognized, it was my scarf... To make matters worse, she told me she had thought about buying it for her mother as a gift. She was at least my age, so her mom had to be at least mid-sixties... Yes, I am so hip, my accessories weren't even cool enough to be the scarf she actually picked for her AARP aged mother!

My next loser moment came immediately after buying my coffee... I walked around the corner and there they all were again, walking very slowly back to the building we were supposed to meet in. What do I do now? Creepily follow them slowly across campus? Introduce myself a wee bit late and walk with them? Sit awkwardly on a bench and wait for them to get far enough ahead before I follow? Oh how I wish I'd done any of those... Oh no, instead I take an awkward half step, catch the toe of my sandal on the walkway, let out a scream as I fall to the ground splashing one of the male bloggers/speaker with my coffee... Yes, there I lay at the feet of the big time bloggers, hands dripping in spilled coffee, trying not to burst into tears because I scraped my hands and knee... What did I do? I laughed... What else was left? As they helped me up, I introduced myself and tried to laugh the whole thing off like the confident woman I am... OK, I faked it, but I did seem to win-over some of them and the person I splashed was wearing brown pants and didn't seem mad about the coffee. In fact he seemed more concerned about me then the condition of his slacks... (I was fine by the way, other then a scraped hand and bruised dignity.) I walked with them back to the room they were speaking in and kinda felt like I belonged there... Silly Rebecca...

I wish I could say that I got tons of useful information from this panel of bloggers... Alas, I did not. First of all, I would be lying if I didn't admit I had no idea what they were talking about half the time. I didn't know that there is a secret language that every other blogger on the planet knows but me. It also came a a bit of a surprise to me that all the other twenty or so bloggers there only wanted to learn how to make money from their blogs... Seriously ALL they wanted to know about was marketing their blogs and making money from them. I'll admit I did have some ads on my blog when I started up, and I have considered having them again... I have even been temped to do some product reviews, but so far nobody has asked me to review anything I would actually use in my day to day life, so I have held off. (To be painfully honest, only two people/companies have asked in the two and half years I've been blogging.) But these bloggers seem to only blog for the money... One plus of this experience is that since then I have really examined why it is I do blog... I have decided to share that in a different post...

Anyhow, back to the conference, where I spent several hours listening to the panel bestow us with their knowledge, most of which clearly did not pertain to me... I then ate a box lunch with a bunch of bloggers who barely noticed me there as soon as they realised knowing me would in no way advance their blogs, and then sat through an afternoon Q & A session all about making more money from your blog... I was wishing I hadn't spilled my coffee that morning... It might help me stay awake at this point.

Next came the part of the day I had hung around for; because let's face it, it was really hard to not leave after lunch time. But I had prepaid for an evaluation, and I wanted to hear what these "big time bloggers" thought of my tiny little blog. It turns out, they didn't think much of it... I'm serious... I went into the room and sat at a table with the bloggers and only two of the six had any notes on my blog. (Oh, and the notes of the blogger who was across from me so I could read his notes only said "Small time, middle age, mommy blogger... Mildly funny.") They all pulled my blog up and at least pretended to remember it. Wanna know what they said? That I need to stop "boring and confusing" my readers... I bore you by doing what I am doing right now... My audience doesn't like long posts with no pictures and since I have never picked an identity for my blog, I confuse you too. Am I a Christian blogger? (Turns out there in a niche for that, and a lot of money making opportunities, and that would be my best avenue to "exploit." His word, not mine!) A "Party" blogger? An "idea" blogger? A "humor" blogger? I need to choose an identity if I want to "succeed" at blogging. At the very least I need to develop tabs for the heading  on my blog so people can find the posts they are after. (This might actually be good advice, but was it worth the money I spent to go and the time I spent there? Not so much, since I had been planning to do this anyhow.) My "private" consultation lasted all of seven minutes, which was a far fry from the 15-20 the other four bloggers who paid for this consultation got... I was told that although I am a decent writer, unless I "focus" I will never be a successful (money wise) blogger...

Oh well... I guess I can live with that.

Thanks for listening,


PS. This all actually happened months ago, and I typed this post when I got home... I just was not ready to share it until now.