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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

The Great Allison Update...

I know that last post was kind of a downer... The sad fact is almost everything in our lives were kind of a downer from January until May... At the time I didn't realize what a deep valley we were trudging through until I could look back on it!

Allison also had her own trials to face...

Last you heard she was engaged to be married this past summer and had just transferred to our school to finish out her senior year... Since I haven't announced any big news I am sure by now you have surmised that she in fact did not get married... You would be right.

Their relationship ended this past spring and it was a painful time for all of us... We all kind of got whip-lash as the guy she was planning to marry did a total 180 and became a different person from the one we had all known. Allison had seen the transformation coming for a few months and had been fighting back against it but because he was hiding things so well from the rest of us it was seeming like she was the problem. They were young (very young) but they also were doing everything right... They were leading worship every week, volunteering in multiple ministries, going to pre-marital counseling, working and saving money and planning the wedding... All seemed to be on track, until apparently he found a portion of wild oats he had yet to sow... When she finally ended things for good it became clear within days that all she had been saying about his desire to lead a less Christ centered life-style and to focus on momentary fun instead became painfully obvious.

At the same time all this was happening in her relationship, our time at the school was starting to unravel. We were holding firm to the strong Biblical foundation we were told the school needed to be on (and we believe to be true) in a setting where the large majority of the (small) student body are not Christian and several of them outwardly reject the very principals of our faith... This created constant conflict as we required ALL the students participate in prayer, devotions, Bible classes, etc... Allison got caught in this mess having transferred to our school... Being our daughter she quickly found herself on the "outside" as tensions grew... It was supposed to be her "senior year" and all the fun associated with that but instead she found herself having transferred from a public school where she hung out with a more "popular" crowd and had a huge circle of friends to being in a small private school where only one or two people would even talk to her...  To compound matters her now ex-fiancĂ© was sowing his wild oats with a new set of friends... Ones he met through her... The current and recently former (graduated and/or dropped out) students from our school! So even though he was out of school, that was who he was choosing to hang out with... Since he had become the life of the party for them, after the break up Allison was even further on the outside then ever before. She did still have her friends from the other school and I m sure she learned some valuable life-lessons but it is extremely hard to be on the front line watching your baby go through such tough times.

I know right now you are all thinking "poor kid" but don't fret for her... Allison has the Lord center in her life and true to his promise to make all thing for good her story has a happy ending... So far as her story is long from over!

She graduated in May with a 4.0 (yes, even through everything she maintained her grades!) and was Salutatorian of her class. She gave a speech that made people both laugh and tear up at the graduation. She started an online prayer ministry that has helped her to keep her focus and perspective. She has moved on and gone out on a few dates with a couple different guys which were fun for her. AND she plans to go to college next fall at Montana State University! After much prayer she felt she needed to defer a year and get back on her feet in every area of her life and she is using it productively.

Here are some pictures (that she approved for me to share) of her...

This was taking during the week she had to finally end things with her fiancé... She still had her joy... I learned so much from this girl this year!
 
Through everything she always found reasons to smile... I am sure she is a big reason that we didn't realize how deep a valley we were going through until we were on the other side!
 
 
Of course her friends really helped a lot, but she and I are closer then I thought we'd ever be. We talk about everything and have built a foundation in our relationship that hopefully will stay firm even as she flies away from our nest!
 
 
I still can't believe this beautiful young woman is actually my daughter!
 
 
Here she is with the valedictorian after graduation... they were .038 points apart GPA wise and both joked that they literally were one answer on one test apart...They both kind of shared the "top spot" and it was fun to see her claim a personal victory at the end of such a tough season!
 

Thanks for listening,

4 comments:

  1. Well done, Allison!

    Oh my, it IS painful to see our kids hurting. I guess one blessing is that the guy revealed his true colors BEFORE the wedding. And you're right - with the Lord at the center, she'll come through stronger and with increased faith. Still... OUCH.

    Julie

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  2. Congratulations on all of her accomplishments, including knowing when to let go of someone. Wishing her a bright and happy future : )

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  3. Congratulations to Allison and her parents!! :)

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