WARNING: Rebecca D. shows flagrant disregard for the rules of punctuation... She uses ellipsis with wild abandon... Punctuation interventions have been done to no avail... If you are offended by such irreverence to the rules of grammar... The very glue that holds our society together... STOP READING NOW... Move on... There is a little button at the top that says "next blog"... You would be well advised to use it... You were warned...

Rainy Days and Mondays....

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

always get me down...

I had one of those days... a bleak day... a bleak mood... it happens.

I did get a lot done, especially in the bedroom. I did three "Fly Lady" de-cluttering house wide passes. (More on the Fly Lady later in this post) If you don't know what that is... you walk through your home and throw away 27 items, then you walk through your home and find 27 things to donate. I did this three times, the 27 things to throw away are always so easy, we get so much paper and junk here, but 27 to give away were a little tricky at first until I spied my book cases. Us homeschoolers hoard so much stuff! There were books on there that I had taken to used book sales, they didn't sell and I just brought them home and put them back on there! It was surprising how easy it was to weed out 81 items from here. I now have a load in the back of my car ready to be dropped off at Goodwill tomorrow. I did feel good about that.

What I didn't feel good about is losing my temper with KK today. She is almost 18 and has taken to telling me what she will and won't do and when she will and won't do it. She also seems like she suddenly thinks she is the parent and is trying to boss me around. I am trying to find a balance with her. I know she isn't a child anymore, but she still needs to treat me with the respect I deserve as her mother. So, how do I teach her to respect me?? How else... by yelling at her. (I'm such a good mom...) She jumped squarely on my last nerve and I went all Mt. Vesuvius on her. I did apologise later when cooler heads prevailed, but I really hate it when this part of my personality pops up.

So, back to the Fly Lady, if you don't know who she is, click here.  (After you finish my post...of course!)

Let me start by saying I am not a Fly Lady acolyte... I do think she has some good ideas, but I don't believe in her one size fits all approach. It has been my observation most people who try to go "Fly Lady" fall into one of two categories... either they drink the kool-aid go all out, or years later are still working on "shining their sink" regularly. You see the first thing she wants you to do is really clean your kitchen sink and do it every night. Until you can commit to that you are not supposed to move one... hence the legion of self hating, part time, sink shiners out there... If you do move past there she has lots of ideas for routines to make your life and home run smoother.

Sounds great huh? Well I thought so, but she just doesn't allow for deviation and adjustments. One of her rules is to get dressed every morning... sounds simple on the surface, but some of us who stay at home know that we don't always do this. In fact, I have greeted my husband after a long day of work more times then I care to admit dressed in bleach stained, stretched out sweatpants and old holey comfy sweatshirts... sexy huh? I'm not proud to admit how many times someone has knocked at the front door and I do the sprint down the hall asking one of the girlies to see who it is. I agree with the Fly Lady that this is wrong, but what she expects is for me to be up, fully showered, dressed in "real" clothes (including "lace-up" shoes), make-up and hair done, before breakfast... everyday! Problem... one of the ways we save money is in my wardrobe... I have a limited number of "nice" clothes that I wear when I leave the house, you know, when the public will see me. Those of you who stay home know that being around the house is hard on your clothes. (I didn't get the bleach stains on the old sweats on purpose after all.)  I made the radical decision that there shoud be a
happy medium...I went out and got new, nicer looking sweat & yoga pants, I went through my "house shirts" and put the ones I'd be embarrassed to be seen in by anyone arriving at the door in the rag bin. I am not a shoe person, and would go barefoot if I could, but am trying to wear them more and at least keep them handy. I am up and showered before breakfast, but I am embarrassed to admit I rarely wear make-up even for church, although my friend Beth says the red on my cheeks from my mild rosacea gives me a healthy glow.. Anyhow, I was proud of myself for the advancements I'd made, I've got a good bedtime and morning routine going, and the de-cluttering is going really well... until someone from the "Fly Lady" site contacted me to "encourage" me.... I emailed her back with my progress... happy with how far I'd come...silly me. Her response? "I think you need to go back to shining your sink until you are willing to fully commit."  That was the whole message...

I never knew there were homemaker fascists... They remind me of the LeLeche moms who dropped my name from their mom's night out invite list when I weaned my daughter at nine months... but that is a story for another day...

I need to go shine my sink...


  1. oh my goodness, i am laughing so hard, i was finally really tired and ready to go to bed and fall asleep and then i read your blog and have probably woke everyone up wondering what i am laughing at. girl you crack me up. i am still at the shine my sink stage, i cant go fwd. and fascist, wayyyy tooo hilarious! and the leleche. i went to ONE meeting and had to leave. i weaned my son at 6 months (had to return to work & was difficult to go in work closet & pump) and my daughter around 10 months (just because she liked sippy cups better & was a piglet and she needed more supply than i could demand to come out of my body. so bahahaha going to try and sleep now hugs

  2. I have a 17-year-old daughter, and I don't believe she'll respect me until she moves out and gets to find out what it's like to support herself. So hang in there.

    I checked out this flylady.net website. Maybe I'll look it over some more, but I doubt that I could follow her plan. I'm too impatient for those baby steps. Anyways, my son was hoping we'd have a garage sale so he could sell hot dogs and lemonade, so I might have to wait on the 27-things donate list.

  3. rebecca, I have to say, I too, have greeted my husband in my jammies on more than one occasion... some days, you simply forget to get dressed, or just don't feel like it! I know that feeling allto well...

    youknow, those 80 used books could also go to your local library, just a thought! :)

    as for showered, dressed and made up before breakfast... that is rarely ever me. why? because I get the kids up after I take the puppies out. um... one of the kids is usually up,and the other one up but confined... I can't take a shower unless I am up before he is! so, unless I get up at five, in which case I would have to be in bed by nine, and hat's not happening, I have to make do with taking a shower while the kids are eating breakfast. Every other day. Yup. I hate taking showers every day. it's actually not healthy to do so. O:)

    I say good job for donating so much stuff,and getting rid of that many things to throw away! LOL...

    and you know you can shine that sink, but the husband and the kids (and in my case, the cats who drink from the leaky bathroom sink), will just get it dirty again in five minutes! :)))

  4. I tried living the Fly Lady way a few years back, but failed miserably. Honestly I couldn't even keep up with the emails. I applaud your efforts!

    I lived in Maine for six years and my heart is still there. Many of our closest friends live in Maine.

    I love your blog layout! The flowers are beautiful. :-)

  5. Yep, I do think the "rosie" glow on your cheecks makes you look beautiful. No make-up needed!

    I have tried to follow FlyLady's ways for years but get stuck on the "rules" too. Although I have managed to make getting dress w/lace up shoes a regular part of my morning, I have failed miserably with the kitchen until I gave that chore to Jasmine. She now does a wonderful job of doing all my after dinner cleanup including the sink.

    Decluttering is still a major problem area for me (as you have seen in my home), but it is one area that I am working to make better daily. Wish I didn't have my love affair with all things paper, especially books!


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