WARNING: Rebecca D. shows flagrant disregard for the rules of punctuation... She uses ellipsis with wild abandon... Punctuation interventions have been done to no avail... If you are offended by such irreverence to the rules of grammar... The very glue that holds our society together... STOP READING NOW... Move on... There is a little button at the top that says "next blog"... You would be well advised to use it... You were warned...

The Lowdown...

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I really wanted to be telling you guys all about the prom right now... and I plan to tell you so many stories of that event you will all yell "enough" in unison...

But today I can't tell you that because I need you guys to know what is going on... I need all your prayers right now... I need you, my bloggy friends, because you are super easy to talk to... and I need to talk.

 Do you guys remember a couple weeks ago when I told you I just found out my mom has breast cancer? Well Tuesday she went in for a mastectomy... we were told it was a simple procedure and she would be home in about one to two days. Well, things didn't go as planned and she spent the next four days in special care. Most of it so hopped up on pain meds, I didn't know what was going on... She had several complications and since her health was poor to start with, it has been kinda scary. She was never in any rick of dying as far as I know, but she was pretty bad.

 My step-dad has alzheimer's and needs round the clock care. The people who have been helping out need a break. My mom is out of special care but can't go home unless there is someone there... So the girlies and I have to go to Maine in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow...

I found out how bad their situation is Friday morning... Yes, the day of the prom... I was on auto pilot most of the day Saturday as we made travel plans... The thing is, it's not just that they need someone there right now... from what I'm hearing they are not able to care for themselves or each other very well for sometime now. The situation is dire and there are people who wish to get social services involved...

My mom and step-dad don't see it that way, and now I need to go and assess the situation. My mom can be one of the nicest most generous people on the planet... when she wants to, but mostly she is a bit bossy, manipulative and pushy. She burns people out fast... she is one of those people who likes to have people wait on her and will milk it... she definitely burns bridges faster then she builds them... My step-dad is mostly a sweet, bumbling guy these days, but back in the day he was an alcoholic... When he was drinking he was very difficult to be around... He has hosted his share of bride burnings himself...

I love these two people very much... they may be difficult people but they are my difficult people. They both have a lot of redeeming qualities, and even if they didn't, they are my parents and I need to do what is "honorable" by them... "Honor thy father and mother" Does not mean just how you speak to them... it is being honorable for them...I am not saying there haven't been bridges burnt in our relationship, but the honorable thing is to re-build them...

I am alone in my thinking on this... you see I am the youngest of seven... yes... seven... and I live the furthest away... most of my siblings and step-siblings are within a few hours of them, but they can't or won't help them... They all have their reasons... but it comes down to me...

My parents have been relying on the kindness of friends and their church to take care of their needs... this I didn't know, but apparently it has been going on for a long time. (Like over two years...) They have been hiding the reality of their situation from me... I don't know why. Anyhow, to make a long story longer... This hospitalization is the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back... I have spent the last four days hearing from people (some I've never met...) all with opinions as to their situation and what needs to be done...

I have been so overwhelmed, I even missed church Sunday (Easter)... I just needed to be home with my husband... we needed to pray together... I needed quiet, not fancy dresses and crowds... I am drowning in emotions... I have power a of attorney... the doctor insisted on it before he will release her. I have to fly across the country and sort out the lives of my parents...  I am not prepared...

I also need to leave this computer here and don't know the computer situation there... I will post when I can... I may not talk about all this... it is too much... I may need to escape... or I may do what I just did, and pour my heart out... This is new to me, I don't know how I will react...

Pray for us... all of us...

Thanks for listening...


  1. Hi Rebecca, I am so sorry, I am going through this with my parents too. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, have a safe trip and good luck with this. Hugs, Terri

  2. I'm sorry Rebecca! This has got to be extremely hard & challenging -- I cannot imagine packing up and not knowing how things can get worked out. Prayers to you and your mom. I hope somehow everything will be okay.


  3. I'm sorry you are going through this. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  4. I'm so sorry! My family is praying for yours during this difficult and uncertain season.

  5. I am praying for you to have strength and be led to the right decisions. Try to stay calm and methodical. Social services may be able to help you find resources for help in caring for them. I hope your family comes around some too.This is a big burden to carry on your own and even if others take on just a few things each and are there to back each other up it can make it easier.

  6. will pray for you, too.

  7. I'm praying for you. I pray that God will guide you as you make hard choices...and for peace when you've made those choices. I pray that you will feel the love and comfort of Jesus every step of the way.

  8. Rebecca, I am seriously praying so hard for you right now. {{hugs}}

    I am so sorry that this has all been unloaded on you right now--it's so hard not being there to see for ourselves and I am happy you will be able to go and see for yourself what needs to be done. I know that God will guide you and give you strength right now--and I am keeping you, your mom & step-dad in my prayers.

    Remember you can email me anytime, okay honey? Love you, sweetie.


  9. You've really got a lot of things to figure out. I think you're doing the right thing in stepping up and trying to honor your parents. I don't know how things will work out, but I have great confidence in the providence of God, as I know you do too. I'm committed to praying for you and your family during this time. Please let me know if you can think of anything I can do to help.

  10. Praying for peace and wisdom for everyone involved. I know God has a plan we don't always want to see. I hope that you have had a safe trip.

  11. Saying a prayer right now. Let me know if there is something I can do this side of the country. Love and hugs! Safe traveling mercies

  12. Oh wow. This is a lot...I will definitely be praying. I think you are doing the right thing. Please let me know if there are specific requests...I will add you to my prayers this week.

  13. So sorry to hear about your situation, you'll be in my prayers!

  14. My goodness gracious! You have a very heavy load. Remember, if God brings you to it, He will see you through it. You are doing what you need to do, yet it is so hard to be separated, especially a family as close as yours. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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