Rant Follow-Up...

My sweet friend Julie left the following comment on my last post... I started to send her an email but decided she probably the only person concerned after that last post... Here is her comment:

So sorry you've been sick! AAACK! Hope you're on the mend and stay well!

About the cruising idea... if Paul is concerned about how much money will get spent at destinations you will actually enjoy, here are a couple options:
1. Set a budget ahead. We have "x" dollars to spend at each of our three stops. If I spend less on Monday, I have more for Tuesday, or whatever. But there's a limit.
2. When we went on a cruise (ten years ago) you could pre-register and pre-pay for outings on your port days. They actually sent us a little catalog to choose from - probably all online now. For instance, one day we were signed up for a dinner/sunset sail - paid for before we left home. Another port day we left open and just wandered the shops and beaches (but then, I'm not a big shopper.) There were no financial "surprises" on the cruise.

But regarding money/spending/saving in general...

Oh boy... when my DH and I got engaged I could see the handwriting on the wall - we also come from night and day perspectives about money. Before we got married, Kerry agreed to take a financial planning class with me. Back then it was all Larry Burkett. Now it may be Dave Ramsay, or maybe there's someone newer. Whatever! 

Do you think Paul might be willing to take a financial planning class together with you? While you feel stifled by his frugal ways, he may feel threatened by your free-and-easy attitude. (Maybe I'm exaggerating both sides here - I'm not implying you're irresponsible or he's mean.)

In our marriage the roles are reversed. I have a hard time spending money... we might need it later! But when we wrote out a monthly budget and allocated money for each different category, it got easier to spend THAT money on THAT category, without feeling like we were shorting ourselves in other areas.

You know, maybe if he could see on paper that you (you as a couple) are being diligent to meet your goals and obligations, you're tithing, and you're saving for emergencies, then he would feel okay about spending the money you've saved for vacation... on vacation!

My intent isn't to tell you how to manipulate him to do what you want - though what you want sounds reasonable! But the idea is to get you both on the same page. Oh my word, it is HARD WORK to get a budget hammered out and then live on it. But it's so freeing!

Anyway, that's my .02 cents. Or more like two bucks. Whatever! :D

Julie

Julie,
You are so sweet to offer me solutions to what was basically my stomach virus fuels rant...

 We actually did the Dave Ramsey plan about seven years ago and have been basically debt free for several years now. That is the reason Paul was able to quit his job back in 2010 so we could come back to Maine and take care of my parents. Since I took over my parent"s finances about a year ago I have been steadily working toward that goal for them too... I would say after all these years we both tend to have a fairly healthy view of money...
That being said, we do have very different spending styles. After almost 23 years of marriage he is generally pretty used to me. Our difficulty with this trip seemed to be that we had very different visions for it and just had to sit down and talk about it instead of just lobbing suggestions back and forth and shooting them down. We did that just today and have finally, at long last we have made a decision about where to go. I will leave the exciting reveal for another day very soon. We still have not made a final decision about the car but we did commit to make one by the end of this month so we are both researching right now.

Thank you for your grace in my last post/rant... Sometimes my blog becomes my online journal and this was one of those times... I wasn't feeling well and was feeling a time crunch. The next several months are really busy. In May, Allison & I are flying to Montana to tour the college in person and make some college plans for her, In June we have my grand baby's 1st birthday, and I think you all know that will be an event to remember! In July Mary & Martha has their annual conference in Kansas City. Then in August, Paul, Allison & I have to drive her out to Montana for her first semester of school... Wow I am exhausted just listing that... Anyhow I do have to work too and with all that we figured if we didn't go in April (when the original Cabo trip was) that it would be put off until October at the soonest... He was okay with that but I really, really wasn't. I worked very hard to earn that trip and I really had my heart set on some time away with just my husband. Once he saw how important it is to me to go sooner rather then later and once he started helping me make decisions. Once we were both committed to making decisions it went fairly quickly.

Come back over very soon for a little fun around my trip reveal!

Thanks for listening,