WARNING: Rebecca D. shows flagrant disregard for the rules of punctuation... She uses ellipsis with wild abandon... Punctuation interventions have been done to no avail... If you are offended by such irreverence to the rules of grammar... The very glue that holds our society together... STOP READING NOW... Move on... There is a little button at the top that says "next blog"... You would be well advised to use it... You were warned...

Stomach Bug: 3... Me: 0

Sunday, March 2, 2014

For the last week and half I have had the same stomach virus THREE times! Everyone in my house has had it multiple times... I have gone to full on defcon 5 sanitation mode... I make people use hand sanitizer like crazy... I WILL NOT GET IT AGAIN!!! Seriously though, I am so tired of being sick and caring for sick people!

We still haven't decided where to go on our vacation... We have ruled out Europe due to time constraints... Allison can take care of things here with my mother for a few days but anymore the 5-6 she will be over her head and even that is stretching things. Also, we seem to be at odds about planning the trip... You see my husband is EXTREMELY cheap thrifty... Spending money give him little pleasure, even money earned for a specific reason. His thriftiness is good normally since I am the opposite but when planning a vacation it is so annoying! In the past when we went on family vacations I learned early on that if I wanted him to relax and enjoy himself we needed to go to all-inclusive type places where you can prepay for just about everything. One time when we went to a family destination wedding I set up a special account with our vacation money on that card but he seemed to see it as a challenge to see how much of it we could have left when we returned! When ever we start to select a destination I look at the lovely boutique hotels he looks for ones with a kitchen in the room so "we can save money and prepare some of our own meals." That isn't a vacation, it is taking "home" on the road! I did not work so hard to earn a chance to grocery shop & cook in a different location! The answer is a cruise but I am not totally sold on the idea of cruising and he still finds way to cheap out... When we look into cruises he actually suggested we pick one that we are not interested in the destinations so we could save money by staying on the ship!!! This is supposed to be fun but it is making him cranky and me frustrated!! (Suggestions VERY welcome!)

To add to his miserly angst we are in the market for a second car. Back during my unintentional blog hiatus we got a new vehicle... Last spring we bought a new minivan. We chose it because everyone can fit in it at once without having to take a caravan of cars everywhere and it has stow & go seats enabling me to easily get my mother's wheelchair in and out. About a month later Katy & Jed needed a safe vehicle to transport the baby in, so we gave them the Pathfinder leaving us once again with one vehicle. We generally do fairly well but it has become an issue lately as my business picks up. We can afford a second vehicle... In fact we have been planning for it for sometime and won't need to finance it, but the actual act of spending the money is so overwhelming to him. The easy answer is for me to make the decisions and just do it, but I know from past experience that action in a short term solution. Acting on major decisions without him takes over his role of the head of our household and that wounds our relationship... Waiting on him to act frustrates me to the point of argument and even anger... We have needed this car since last summer!! It's the same old story... Introverted tightwad marries extroverted spender and they try to live in harmony!

That's what's going on in my life... How about you?

Thanks for listening,

PS. I had to enable "comment moderation" since suddenly after all these years of blogging I am getting spammed like crazy and I got tired of cleaning it up... Guess the spammers think I am suddenly big time now! Hahahaha!!

1 comment :

  1. So sorry you've been sick! AAACK! Hope you're on the mend and stay well!

    About the cruising idea... if Paul is concerned about how much money will get spent at destinations you will actually enjoy, here are a couple options:
    1. Set a budget ahead. We have "x" dollars to spend at each of our three stops. If I spend less on Monday, I have more for Tuesday, or whatever. But there's a limit.
    2. When we went on a cruise (ten years ago) you could pre-register and pre-pay for outings on your port days. They actually sent us a little catalog to choose from - probably all online now. For instance, one day we were signed up for a dinner/sunset sail - paid for before we left home. Another port day we left open and just wandered the shops and beaches (but then, I'm not a big shopper.) There were no financial "surprises" on the cruise.

    But regarding money/spending/saving in general...

    Oh boy... when my DH and I got engaged I could see the handwriting on the wall - we also come from night and day perspectives about money. Before we got married, Kerry agreed to take a financial planning class with me. Back then it was all Larry Burkett. Now it may be Dave Ramsay, or maybe there's someone newer. Whatever!

    Do you think Paul might be willing to take a financial planning class together with you? While you feel stifled by his frugal ways, he may feel threatened by your free-and-easy attitude. (Maybe I'm exaggerating both sides here - I'm not implying you're irresponsible or he's mean.)

    In our marriage the roles are reversed. I have a hard time spending money... we might need it later! But when we wrote out a monthly budget and allocated money for each different category, it got easier to spend THAT money on THAT category, without feeling like we were shorting ourselves in other areas.

    You know, maybe if he could see on paper that you (you as a couple) are being diligent to meet your goals and obligations, you're tithing, and you're saving for emergencies, then he would feel okay about spending the money you've saved for vacation... on vacation!

    My intent isn't to tell you how to manipulate him to do what you want - though what you want sounds reasonable! But the idea is to get you both on the same page. Oh my word, it is HARD WORK to get a budget hammered out and then live on it. But it's so freeing!

    Anyway, that's my .02 cents. Or more like two bucks. Whatever! :D




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